Beyonce is either hit or miss with me… But not like normal hit or miss.  I either despise her latest song on the radio (To the Left, If I Were a Boy) and want to jam a Q-Tip in my ear when it is playing on the radio, or enjoy it so much (Put a Ring on it, Check on it) that I want to get up and dance in my tiny office at work.  And I don’t even talk to a lot of people when they come in the mail room because I’m relatively quiet in person… Not that I hate the people coming in the mail room or anything.

…Why am I talking about Beyonce?

“Get longer get straighter” Sadly the article is not about what I expected when I picked up Golf Digest in the weight room today… Not that I need to work on my “golf game” or anything… Ahem.

The whole album “The Colour and the Shape” is available for download on Rock Band, and I really could not be any happier.  This is the only album I have purchased twice in my lifetime, and has been a huge part of my music listening experience since early on.  I used to listen to it everyday on the way to work when I worked for that weird medical company in Dallas senior year of high school.  You can hear “Everlong” and “My Hero” on about 70% of the mix CDs I made when we first got a CD burner in the late 90s.  I still listen to it every time on the way home from Austin. I even remember my basketball coach wearing a Foo Fighters shirt and singing “Don’t wanna be your monkey wrench!” when I was in the 5th grade.

Needless to say this CD kicks ass and I am in total nerd heaven now that I can play “My Hero” on a plastic guitar whenever I need to pump myself up.  If you have Rock Band, I really suggest you pay the 15 bucks or however much it is and download the whole thing.

I am officially in the best shape of my life.  I have reluctantly added cardio to my workouts recently, and my ass is not very happy with me.  Its not so much angry that its shrinking in size, its just not that into the weird muscle spasms that come in the night when I’m asleep.  I also took back the weight I do on leg press and have turned up the reps.  Some of my jeans don’t fit right anymore, as in they won’t go OVER my thighs.  I guess it’s not that important to be able to leg press 900 pounds… Althought I’m still doing 15 reps with 500 pounds… Anyway, I think people are taking notice to my new figure.  Here is a conversation that happened at work today.

VP: “Hey big guy!”

GEORGE!: “Here are your pens…”

VP: “Did you used to wrestle?”

GEORGE!: “No I played football in high school.”

VP: “What position?”

GEORGE!: “Left tackle.”

VP: “Hold on let me call your brother… Whats his extension?”

::I give him Robert’s extension::

Robert: “Hello?”

VP: “Hey Robert I’m here with your brother, can you whip his ass?”

Robert: “I could definitely when he was younger… But I think I could still take him.”

GEORGE!: “You wish!”

VP: “How much do you bench?”

GEORGE!: “Over 300… somewhere in there. I don’t really max out.”

VP: “How many reps?”

GEORGE!: “I dunno I did 275 three times the other day during a workout…”

VP: “Lemme ask you this… How would you like to get your ass whipped by an old man?”

GEORGE!: “Uh…”

I really didn’t see that one coming.