This picture has nothing to do with Cougars, I just really like it.
OK, so a bunch of people have been asking about what a Cougar really is. I mean, I guess you could quit being lazy asses and look it up on Urban Dictionary… But even then it’s a little cloudy. The first definition says an “older women” while the other says 35+ for the age requirement. Personally, I think 35 is a little low for a Cougar, a Puma? Sure. Cougar in training (CIT from now on)? Definitely. I think the cutoff for Cougar should generally be about 40 years old, but can be reevaluated on a case per case basis. Let’s say you have a 41 old who looks like she is about 32… Yea, I know what you’re thinking, “she real fine.” And you’d be right. But you’d be wrong to assume she’s a Cougar. She’d definitely fall into the Puma or CIT category.
On the other hand, what if you have some 35 year old who is “tore up from the floor up?” She’d probably have to fall under the Cougar category. If they cannot be described as “sleek” and/or “sexy,” like a Ferrari, and common words that would come to mind when you see them are “old” and/or “comfy” or even “worn out,” like say… a Cutlass Supreme, then they’re probably a Cougar and not a Puma/CIT.
Now the CIT, they aren’t always necessarily Pumas, but Pumas are most definitely always CIT. Example, if you have a 28 year old (like we met at the bar two weeks ago) who has what you would call a “cancer kazoo” from smoking too many Parliaments, enjoys wearing summer dresses without underwear, their fake tan is more orange than brown, teaches elementary school, and they have more than three pairs of big sunglasses in their purse at all times… Probably a CIT. Now if they were teaching high school? Definitely a Puma.
Another factor that could take them straight into Puma mode regardless of age, plastic surgery. More than one instance of plastic surgery? Cougar. I really shouldn’t have to explain that deciding factor.
If said woman doesn’t drink liquor anymore because it makes her act “out of control,” definitely a Cougar. “Out of control” is code for “unable to stay coherent enough to seduce young men.” I don’t blame them, they have their goals and they want to do everything to stick to them… That’s what she said. Gross.
Anyway, without going into too much detail, hopefully this little guideline can help you out. Oh yeah, you don’t necessarily have to be single to be a Cougar… Single just means you’re on the prowl.
16 responses so far ↓
Julie // Jun 7, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Thank God you cleared that up, I was worried. I’m cleared on all accounts of CIT. Phew.
LilSass // Jun 7, 2008 at 9:35 pm
George! I been lurking here for awhile and today is the day I speak up. Here’s the thing … the whole reason why a cougar is a cougar is because she’s trying to get back what she lost so many years ago. What I am trying to say is that an important component of the cougar, is that she’s a divorce (I don’t know how to put an accent over that ‘e’ … you know what I mean). A cougar is a cougar because she’s old enough to be in her sexual peak and men her age aren’t on the same page. So we’ve got a woman who’s 38+ who’s fiendin’ for some bidness who can keep up with her. Who better then a kid in his 20s who may or may not be friends with her son. A cougar is on the prowl for a young lad to satiate her sexual needs at this unique time in her life … she’s left that dirtbag husband of hers cause he’s busy banging’ the secretary. See? It all makes sense now …. Kthxbai
Sally // Jun 8, 2008 at 4:27 am
How does a MILF fit into this catagory? Obviously a MILF is not a Cougar from what I can tell.
Heatherface // Jun 8, 2008 at 9:41 am
My mother used the term the other day, I was confused. She’s obviously been using the internet more lately.
christel // Jun 8, 2008 at 11:26 am
and you didn’t even mention me ONCE?
/cry
/pout
/does shots
kidsmom // Jun 8, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Huh?
And what about Tadpoles?
amy // Jun 8, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Lilsass, I would have to agree with much of your assessment. I guess at 40 I too could be a cougar if I had any interest in bedding someone much younger than I.
That said, I have met and known a few women who consider it a mighty fine feather in her cap for seducing a much younger guy. He probably would too
Older women have the beauty of experience and less inhibitions. Know how to satisfy a man without the neediness of a much younger woman.
I am glad I am not a cougar. I am a 40 year old who is happily married and feels no need to prove her worth seeking out the attentions of those much younger.
Interesting read, thanks.
everythingblue // Jun 8, 2008 at 9:41 pm
I had a lot of things to say about this as someone who matches up with some of the fundamental “cougar” criteria noted here and elsewhere, but then I was distracted by the fracking awesome google links on the side…dateacougar.com for instance was great on its own, but the next link, babyboomerpeoplemeet.com…that is gold. Time for me to embrace the (presumably) inevitable? That’s a lot of reality for a Sunday evening…
Jerry // Jun 9, 2008 at 8:42 am
LilSass nailed it. The age thing is really just a threshold issue. It’s all about the age gap and the goals driving the women (usually just a physical issue.) I’m not sure where G money is getting all the trashy, smoking, slutty angle from… Maybe a TX thing. Cougars, by definition, aren’t necessarily skanky.
@ Sally - Au contraire. I would say most Cougars are MILFs… Just of the divorced variety.
Breezy // Jun 9, 2008 at 10:48 pm
Oh Boone… this literally made me lol.
Sally // Jun 10, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Well, if a Cougar can not be described as sleek or sexy, then I’d rather be a MILF. George’s description definitely made cougars sound yucky, comfy and worn out, that’s not good, right? While MILFs are sexy, hot and not at all comfy and worn out. Am I wrong? Jerry? George?
Sarah // Jun 12, 2008 at 10:14 am
see: Hulk Hogan’s ex-wife and her latest prey.
Carly // Jun 12, 2008 at 3:25 pm
I aspire to one day be a cougar.
Emily // Jun 16, 2008 at 4:03 am
I caught this quote on a rerun of Malcolm in the Middle a couple years ago, and thought it was funny for some reason. Maybe it’s because they are actually talking about animals… or because after they say it, the animal blows up.
Reese: Oh great! Now I’m hallucinating, I see a cougar.
Malcolm: Don’t be stupid, that’s a puma!
Rachel // Jun 16, 2008 at 7:16 pm
So here’s the thing…I’m 26, soon to be 27 with no prospects of the male variety anywhere on the horizon (I mean, not even the smallest little ant-like dot on the horizon) and I’ve succumb to the fact that I’m okay with being a “cougar” at some point. Those damn Jonas Brothers have ruined me…well, just the oldest one really.
But this is all beside the point. I just wanted to let you know that I told my friend the other day that if I was still single by the time I was 30 (entirely possible and ultimately probable), I wanted her to make/buy me a shirt that says “Embrace the Cougar”. I figure if you can’t beat it, you might as well acknowledge your slow march towards its inevitability.
that girl // Jun 19, 2008 at 11:11 am
This entire conversation is funny..but I have to disagree w/ the cougar criteria mentioned above. Cougars do not need to be divorced. Doesn’t anyone here remember Mrs. Robinson?
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