My good friend Eli got home from his Mormon sabbatical a few weeks ago and we’ve been hanging out with old friends from high school. We’ve gone to this bar, Kristie’s, a few times in the last week. The first night we went there, some “tore up from the floor up” cougar had PISSED. HER. PANTS.
PEE PEE! In her PANTS!
That wasn’t even the best part… Josh, Eli and I were going to the bathroom together. (Because we’re girls, don’t worry about it.) Eli was in front, leading the pack as we’re about to walk inside the bar from the patio… when who would cut him off? The aforementioned cougar. What does she do when she cuts him off? Stops. And bends over. Trying to scent us with her skunk spray. Eli dodges to the right, I tip-toe around her to avoid the musk cloud, which causes Josh to stop and crack up while the cougar is drunkenly trying to tie her shoe.
Luckily we avoided any mishaps. You know how hard it was not to stare? Train. Wreck. Good thing she never talked to us, even though I am cougar bait and I was also wearing jorts. WHICH! She happened to be wearing as well. If she had caught us staring she probably would have sent the creepy guy sitting next to her over to our table to fight us. I’d rather not kick anyone’s ass at a bar and go to jail.
Not for me.
More shenanigans from the bar to come…
8 responses so far ↓
ryananne // Apr 3, 2008 at 6:53 am
You make the bar scene in TC sound so alluring. I can haz dry pantz? kthx.
minxlj // Apr 3, 2008 at 8:20 am
Cougar bait…LOLZ!!
stephanie // Apr 3, 2008 at 11:34 am
omg GROSS.
i mean, i’ll pee anywhere so i guess i never have that problem but DAMN.
i also can’t imagine ever being so drunk that i pee my pants and then continue to try to hang out. a friend of mine had an after party on a beach once and a girl had to pee. he and someone else walked her down to a different part of the beach, gave her the flashlight and were going to turn away…she squatted down, and peed.
without taking her pants off first.
they pretty much wrapped her and the backseat in a trashbag to get her home, ew.
Lilly // Apr 3, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I came out of lurkdom just to say…BWAHAHA!
Lilly // Apr 3, 2008 at 1:05 pm
….and gross!
Deidre // Apr 3, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Indeed, Gross.
A cougar who was taking her love of Fergie too far? They do say that imitation is the best form of flattery.
Eww.
Lindsay // Apr 4, 2008 at 8:08 pm
I can’t stop laughing at this.
amy // Apr 5, 2008 at 5:56 pm
maybe she was a squirter?
um, still gross. hopefully she didn’t sit down on anything.
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