I mean, it’s not like I was home 95% percent of the time at night so they could take Chuck for a walk after they put Leta to bed or anything.

Oh wait. I was.

If you’d ask Heather about my cooking she would act as if I poured a whole bottle of olive oil into each of my dishes.

A WHOLE BOTTLE OF OLIVE OIL! FROM COSTCO!

Even though I’ve continued to lose weight, I have not changed my diet much since I moved back home from Texas. I still use olive oil and I still eat carbs. Yes, you can lose a lot of weight if you cut back on carbs, but if you ever decide to eat a piece of bread again in your life, you’ll gain the weight back instantly. And honestly, I really like bread… And potatoes. I think one of the problems with my cooking is that all of my recipes could feed about twenty people. It’s just so damn good that if you have no self control, it’s hard to resist eating three plates of it.

I’m not saying a certain someone has no self control, but I mean… I’m not the one who bought the OATMEAL CREME PIES AT THE STORE.

My weightlifting teacher this last semester is one of the healthiest people I know, she preaches a well balanced diet. You can create your own food pyramid online. Don’t worry if it tells you that you may die if you walk from your front door to your car with the information you’ve entered. It says the same for me, and I workout for about an hour and a half three times a week. I haven’t collapsed and died yet. YET.

If you don’t want to get all fancy shmancy with your very own food guide pyramid, you just use some general numbers to live by with your diet. 60% carbs, 25% fats, and 15% proteins. That’s caloriess of each, or some other unit of measurement I can’t remember. To calculate the calories, just take your carb and protein grams and multiply by 4, and your fats by 9. So simple a caveman could do it.

I tend to stick to those numbers as close as possible, I won’t freak out and go throw up in the bathroom if I don’t make the numbers one day. I can’t stand sticking my fingers down my throat… So I just starve myself instead.

My food guide pyramid recommends about 2800 calories a day for me, but generally, I’m anywhere from 1800-2200 for a normal day so I can continue to lose weight. As of the first week of December, I was at 311 pounds. Yes, I weigh 311, no one ever believes me, but I do. My brother’s co-worker even picked me up at because he didn’t believe me at first. After lifting me, he definitely did. Let’s just say I’m rock solid. Or something not gay. My body fat is now down to 28%, so I’m only a few percentage points from being “healthy”. I already feel the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life, and that’s definitely a good thing. If you put in my height and weight on a regular body mass index calculator it says I should be at about 38% body fat. Luckily we have a BMI machine at school so I can get a more exact number.

Now only if back problems didn’t run in our family and I could keep up with a more regular cardio program…