A friend asked me when was the last time I had a girlfriend tonight. Unofficially, 13 months. Officially, I have no idea. Junior year of high school?
My last REAL date? April.
Wow. Seriously? …Thinks back… yep. Seriously.
The thing is, I cannot approach an unknown girl in person. Ever. Not at a bar, even if she is giving me the googaly eyes and the come hither look. Cannot. I may come off as someone who is both loud and obnoxious in person, but I am generally a very shy person who usually looks pissed off for no reason. Family members who visited the blurbodoocery would often ask, “Does GEORGE! not like me?”
Heather would then have to explain that, “this is his normal demeanor.” Standoffish and quiet. I tend to not go out of my way to talk to anyone, even family. Let alone a completely random girl at school or a bar. I will sit there and, “look grumpy.” I can’t help it, I am my father’s son.
I’m a pussy, I can’t help that either.
So yes, I have no balls what-so-ever when it comes to talking to a girl. Absolutely gorgeous girls are not in lonely company, I couldn’t even talk to an ugly girl. Impossible. No way Jose.
Which could totally help my desire to not get married before it’s too soon. Even an ugly girl couldn’t brainwash me into fathering her children if I never talk to her.
In other news, I may need a date.
8 responses so far ↓
kim at allconsuming // Sep 28, 2007 at 4:50 am
It strikes me that you need a good talking to. Similar to the talking to I’ve just had from my husband.
Granted, my talking to was about the fact it is high time we had sex again, but the principle is the same.
The longer the distance between walking up and talking to a stunning or indeed fugly woman the harder it becomes. Like the longer the gaping time void hangs between me and my husband having sex (I’ve just pushed a 10 pound baby out my fanny and he wonders why I’m not interested… but I digress) while in his case the harder certain things get the whole throwing the leg over gets harder for me. It actually becomes a nervy anxiety laden experience to instigate. And our 10 year wedding anniversary is next week.
So quit the looking grumpy and surly in the corner (the fact you know you do it means the jig is up - can’t use it as an excuse anymore because once you’re aware of it as a potential negative you have to address it) and get the up and talking.
If it’s any consolation my husband was probably cut from the same cloth as you.
In which case this is just a depressant for you as not only could you get married and breed, you still end up in the same place - not getting any of anything at all.
ryananne // Sep 28, 2007 at 6:21 am
I know you don’t want to hear this from me, but I think Kim makes a very valid point. The longer you wait, the harder it will get (pun only kind of intended). You have identified your weakness, and now is the time to make a change. Clearly, nothing is going to happen until you build up the courage to make something happen. You are cute, loveable, and usually smell good. There is no reason a pretty or an ugly girl wouldn’t welcome a friendly conversation with you. And if they don’t? I will kick their boney asses.
minxlj // Sep 28, 2007 at 7:50 am
I have a question: why aren’t these girls coming over and talking to you??? Surely they must know that you are GEORGE!
But anyway, you still haven’t got on a plane and come over to England. And why not??
katie021 // Sep 28, 2007 at 8:25 am
That sounded a bit like the shy mans way of asking for a date? LOL!
Good luck.
girlsnap // Sep 28, 2007 at 9:09 am
Wow. Lucky you to have just met me.
I think you have great potential, just maybe need some social confidence and female encouragement.
I’ll do what I can to help from afar. Unless, of course, you make me some fajitas.
UCgrl // Sep 30, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Hey… I wrangled you into a date in April… that must be me!!!! Yes! Score one for the Utah girls!
heathsb // Oct 1, 2007 at 10:10 am
you should try to be a contestant on the next season of the pick-up artist.
Cassie // Oct 10, 2007 at 10:47 am
Dude, welcome to my world. I didn’t think that boys liked dates… I thought that they assumed that buying you a drink at a bar meant that you would put out. Huh.
Here’s a pickup line that won’t ever work:
“Do you appreciate that I’m standing here appreciating you?”
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