I wrote this last night, I wanted to go over it again this morning before I posted it to be sure I wanted it all on the internet. Here goes.
Tonight I took about an hour drive around many familiar places after leaving my brothers house. Why was I doing this on my last night in Texas? Well, maybe due to the fact that I feel awkward calling people and no one called me to hang out, so I figured I’d take a drive. An amazing thing happened tonight, I smiled. Not just any old regular smile, I TRULY smiled. This hasn’t happened in a while, I haven’t felt 100% happy in any moment for about the past 3 or 4 years. Maybe 95%, maybe 99%, never 100%. It had been too long, it felt really good. Windows down, cool air, driving on familiar highways with memories flashing through my head at 70 miles per hour. I missed you, feelings.
This post contains language my family may not agree with. I’m sorry. I’m 22. Let me live.
Since it’s always been so hard for me to truly express my feelings to girls, I’m going to go ahead and do that right now to a few girls that have molded me into who I am today. I may regret some of the things I say down the road from now, but they really need to be said. Damn you calming Texas drives and Taking Back Sunday, you make me vulnerable.
Lisa - I think we waited to long to actually meet up. When we did I felt sparks, it felt good. I never really told you how I felt about you because I was leaving for Utah in a little over a month when we did actually meet in person. I wanted to tell you that I was crazy about you and that after you left for the night I loved that I could still smell your skin on me and I smiled the whole time before I fell asleep. I went out on a limb with you and I did get a little hurt in the end, but it was worth it. I’m sorry I never really told you how I felt. Thanks for the memories.
Allison - I met you at what will most likely be the last Church dance I will ever attend in my lifetime. You came up and talked to me even though I had a goofy mullet-hawk. I hadn’t danced with anyone that night but figured, hey what the hell? I found out you were going to be moving up to Utah around the same time I was and thought that maybe we could be friends. After we eventually got together in Utah, I found we would be much more than friends. Probably due to the fact that you gave me a boner while we were making out on the couch in my apartment. We ended up hanging out again after a few weeks because I was kind of a dick to you for no reason and would make plans with you and then break them to hang out with my friends. I did it on purpose. I wanted to feel what it felt like to be the dick, and I apologize. When you did hang out with me again we dined at the finest restaurant in Provo… Olive Garden. You talked about how you really wanted to get married and denied that you just wanted to have sex. You are only 19 after all, plenty of things on your mind besides sex. Like ponies. And rainbows. But your actions spoke louder than your words when we did not only make out on the couch, but you followed me into my room with the lights off and the door closed. What happened next could not exactly be described as “Temple Worthy” actions, but I can say that we did not have sex. More like I touched your leg and you had improper thoughts of me. After that you told me I was a bad influence (so kill me, YOU WANTED IT) and we never really hung out again. Again, sorry for being a dick.
Audrey - We were once really good friends and I sometimes look back on our lost friendship and wonder what the hell happened. Then I remember how we first got to be really good friends. You started working with me about a month after I moved back to Utah. You immediately clung to me once you found out I too, was from Texas. We hit it off. I tried to not act interested because you were engaged, but I totally had a crush on you. The engagement eventually was no more and I made my move. We went to a party and you came home with me and snuggled all night, when you left in the morning I gave you a hug and RAN ACROSS THE STREET IN JOY! I was elated. Then that following Sunday morning I went over to a mutual friends house (who knew I liked you) and walked in the door to find women’s shoes at the front door. YOUR SHOES. Hi, here is my heart you already ripped out, would you like to go ahead and FUCKING stomp on it? Yea? OK here. We went back and forth for the next few months, even kissing a few times and you telling me that you loved me. Sometimes I wish that you really did love me, but I’ve learned to get over it. I hope you’re happy in the future.
Sabrina - Half the time I want to call you Samantha, because you seem more like a Samantha. No idea why, you just do. We met here from this very website and sort of hit it off online chat-style. We ended up hanging out one night, and then that next weekend we had a sort of sleepover. Sort of because you didn’t stay in my room and you wouldn’t even let me kiss you on the lips. Hi, lame. The next day we went up to meet my family (The very lovely Heather Jon Leta and Chuck) after I made dinner and I dropped you off and we said our goodbyes, you got very distant. Is it just mere coincidence that this was after you met Mr and Mrs Blurbodoocery? Maybe. But you had a few months to prove me wrong and you never did. You flaky 18 year old lame ass BYU floozy. Oh yea, one more thing? FUCK YOU. I really did like you. I can’t be totally made at you though, you did teach me one thing. The next 18 year old whose pants I want to get into? Make sure she takes breaks between talking to breathe, and that she isn’t a prude.
It feels good to be back on top.
20 responses so far ↓
daisytrickz // May 21, 2007 at 1:01 pm
that’s it! go for the jugular.
pokey // May 21, 2007 at 2:01 pm
Doesn’t it feel better to get it all off of your chest? If the girls get mad, oh well. That’s life, deal with it.
petedunn // May 21, 2007 at 4:17 pm
That felt GREAT.
hi_im_jess // May 21, 2007 at 4:45 pm
go george! woohoo!
Brat // May 21, 2007 at 7:23 pm
You GO, DORJ!
erikagodfrey101 // May 21, 2007 at 8:45 pm
good lord..let it out son. women are insanity.
sparkgrrl658 // May 21, 2007 at 10:02 pm
ahahahahaha, i flirted with you and led you on to meet dooce and maybe get on the interwebs lolz
ade // May 22, 2007 at 12:43 am
are these your “great romances of the 20th century”?
KiKi // May 22, 2007 at 6:35 am
Ahh…. Cathartic spewing, is there any other kind? Tell those wee-yotches what for!
ryananne // May 22, 2007 at 7:15 am
Oh, George. You have got to quell that appetite for Mormon hussies…they get you every time.
Maiken // May 22, 2007 at 8:04 am
I’m with ryananne on this one. Don’t go for the Mormon girls who still hate their natural feelings. Wait until they work through and just have sex to have sex. ;)
impy // May 22, 2007 at 2:15 pm
George listen. To me. I am old. And married. I have three children. I am not a Mormon. Although I do hate coffee,,,,but anyhow. I think you are the sexiest, most adorable dude alive. (shhhhh my husband might hear) I loved your post. It felt good and right. You’d think I would stand up for my “sisters” but no. They are not my sisters. I would totally have sex with you. If I weren’t old and married with three kids. I would love you even if you were a jerk sometimes. If I weren’t old, married and the mother of three kids. I would NEVER meet you, just to get to Heather and Jon. In fact, I can read their websites and not meet them, if I wasn’t old, married, having breed three times, and we actually hooked up. You are my internet eye candy. You are yummy with bbq sauce George. You should be happy. Life is yours, what you want to make of it. Let one of Heather and Jon’s biggest gifts to you, be the awareness that you can do WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT. Gosh.
conebaby // May 22, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Listen George, I’m not Mormon either but I know the feeling. The first 25 years of my life was about figuring out not to worry about the opposite (or I suppose if you’re gay, the same LOL) sex. Once you stop worrying about all that stuff - and your 100% happy driving day sounds like the epiphany you needed - that’s when everything else falls into place. You are UH-DOOR-UH-BULL for serious. You are a great guy with a good sense of humor and an obviously fantastical family. Incidentally, I recently found out I’m only THREE DEGREES (via a college friend’s sister) from your cousin Dooce, my blog idol. Very exciting stuff - that means we’re four degrees from one another! :-)
You’ll find the right girl. I found the right guy. He made me move to Alaska, the jerk, but he’s still the right guy ;-)
Concentrate on YOU - be selfish! Do the things you love to do and do them well. The rest will fall into place. I promise.
e-hug,
Christina
m.e.d. // May 22, 2007 at 8:29 pm
hot DAMN. that was excellent. do not fuck with george.
dailypiglet // May 22, 2007 at 9:19 pm
excellent post, i wish more guys would do this. seriously.
it could very well make the world a better place to live in.
dailypiglet // May 22, 2007 at 9:20 pm
sorry but p.s.
excellent title for the post, it’s a hook if there ever was one.
Elle.Belle // May 23, 2007 at 4:41 pm
George - I registered just so I could post to you. It gets better. You’ll meet that girl, the right one, someday, but there might be some more skanks between here and there. That’s good and bad, but that’s life. I was a shitty girl until I became a cool chick. I had a George-like guy and I treated him like poo, I then had an assload of Karma come my way. Then I met my next George-like guy and I married him. I’m no dummy and neither will she be when she spots you. You just gotta hang on, brother.
Oh, I loved the Spurs-Jazz entry. You one funny guy.
theloudcorral // May 24, 2007 at 10:55 am
whoa, whhoa. Karma is a bitch, to those shitty girls. But, wow…this is your blog and you can post anything you want, but i know if I were those girls I would hate to read that post.
But, I am also from the school of thought, that after a relationship you don’t regret anything that happened, you just learn from the fucked up shit that happened and come out a stronger/ smarter person.
I also kinda believe in not talking shit about the past people in my life, and if I do, not using names!! Seriously, though, girls like that will learn fast. And, don’t feel bitter, just think that you have learned more about women and life.
LisaMarie // May 24, 2007 at 1:27 pm
Oh, Georgie. I had no idea you really cared. I thought we were just having fun. Since you were leaving and all. But we did have some good times and made some great memories.
You’re right. In a different life, we would have made a scorching couple.
Antigone // May 29, 2007 at 8:05 am
Girls suck ass. No really, I am one (a girl) and I still think that. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through our sucking ass as much as you have…
Maybe get the hell out of Utah?
Kidding. ;)
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