I’ve decided to do a running diary of today’s Utah/San Antonio game, because I have nothing better to do. I’m starting a little late, Tim still isn’t here and I’m going to go ahead and start the game without him.

3:00PM -After the playoffs are over and I’ve heard “Right Now” by the Pussycat Dolls 40,000 more times over the course of 3 weeks, I’ll probably be ready to go on a killing spree.

3:04PM - Can’t wait until someone falls Derek Fisher really hard and he gets up and kisses them. Quit being a sissy Derek.

3:06PM - I agree with you that Deron is the best young PG in the NBA Van Gundy, would you agree with me that it’s time you cut off your rediculous hair?

3:07PM - Tiffany just called, CHICKEN POT PIE TONIGHT!

3:08PM - I wish Tim Duncan would quit falling on his ass.

3:10PM - Quick timeout by Gregg Popovich, didn’t see that one coming. And why doesn’t Miller Lite sell their beer in those little mini trophies? I’m sure college kids would be more willing to decorate their pad with those instead of beer bottles.

3:12PM - Michele Tafoya has a lot of freckles, maybe don’t wear that low cut top when you’re in HD? Maybe? First of 1000 fouls on Tim Duncan was just called. Lisa Salters has man hands, I bet shaking hands is hard work for her too, which is what she’s reporting on right now.

3:15PM - It’s amazing I can forget that Carlos Boozer used to play for Duke, probably because he’s so ugly. Do they have one of those pop-a-shot sensors on the goal? I can hardly look down at the score after a shot is made before it’s updated.

3:18PM - Cheap Shot Bob just entered the game, man I love him. Who else do I love? Paul Milsap, he is a beast and just entered after Boozer’s second foul, and immediately scores on a putback.

3:20PM - RIGHT NOW! ANOTHER TIMEOUT BY POP! Also, if you didn’t know… Desperate Housewives is on tonight, it’s the season finale. ABC will probably remind you again during the next commercial break if you forget in 10 minutes.

3:23PM - Ginobili for 3… and boom goes the dynamite. 14-13 San Antonio. Deron needs to realize he’s not playing against that ugly white guy on Golden State in the paint anymore, Tim Duncan is back there.

3:27PM - Who is most likely to drink a beer at halftime… Mehmet Okur or Fabricio Oberto?

3:30PM - GINOBILEEEEEEEEEE FROM TONEEEEEEEEE! I hate the Spurs PA guy.

3:32PM - Good point by my dad, pretty sure Dwyane Wade doesn’t have that as his ringtone. Too… 60 year old white man.

3:35PM - My dad just asked, “What? You still a Spurs fan?” Um… duh.

3:41PM - I wonder when PJ Carlisimo came over and borrowed my dad’s glasses from 1978.

3:44PM - The biggest difference between the TiVo brand DVR and the DirectTV DVR… besides TiVo being much better… is that the TiVo 30-second skip is an actual 30-second skip, not a 30-second fast-forward. DirecTV really dropped the ball with letting TiVo slip out of their hands.

3:50PM - Deron finally realized he’s stronger than Tony Parker, “I guess can drive to the hole whenever I want on him.” It’s only 3 minutes to halftime.

3:57PM - Stupid foul by Deron before the half is over, at least he only had one, and I guess TP did miss one free throw. Taking a break for halftime, RIGHT NOW!

4:15PM - Back to the game. But not until after I went to the bathroom. Number 2, I know you were curious.

4:19PM - Finally a bucket by the Spurs, thanks to Oberto’s volleyball tap.

4:20PM - 420 anyone? Hehe.

4:24PM - Man that dump made me tired, I could seriously take a nap right now. I love pooping. And sleep. Maybe I could start wearing diapers so I could do both at the same time.

4:30PM - What could pump up the crowd more than a 10 year old song from Green Day? Maybe a ten year old song from Alanis Morissette.

4:35PM - Do you think Manu Ginobili will ever do a Perfect Strangers anniversary show?

4:40PM - Why did they wait until 2007 to make a Transformers movie?

4:41PM - Awesome how Brent Barry just muffed that alleyoop. I mean, this is the guy who won the slam dunk contest in his warm-up top. COME. ON.

4:45PM - Rajael Araujo? I haven’t seen you since you played at BYU. How have you been? By the way, his wife is REALLY hot.

4:53PM - Deron is on fire. He’s so hot right now.

4:55PM - Caught up to live TV, no more skipping commercials. Damn. I think this 50 cent vitamin water commercial is the worst one they’ve made so far. Do you think he has some cris in that bottle? Also, brown-haired lady in the front row, I like your pirate shirt. ARRRRRRRRRG!

4:57PM - Did you know Eva Longorian is dating Tony Parker? ME EITHER! WEIRD! Apparently they’re getting married on 7/7/07. That was a monster jam by Deron right there. Making The Colony proud.

5:03PM - Wrap this one up. Game 1 to Spurs. I think they’ll win it in 6. Hopefully.