=I’ve been meaning to write this for a while. But for the past two weeks the cons outweighed the pros of blogging about anything.

First installment here.

The Person that Likes to Hear Themselves Talk

You may think you have had the worst experience with this type of student, I even thought I did last semester in Sanitation and Safety. One lady named off every single one of her allergies… all 57 of them. MSG, Wheat, Salt, Pepper, Water, Grass, Hair, Toenails, Dogs, Cats, Iguanas, Cheetahs, Lucky Charms, Spare Ribs… etc etc etc!!!! Turns out that whole MSG thing can be factored out if it is incorporated in CHICKEN WINGS! A rep from Ponderosa Steak House made a presentation complete with chicken wings coated in MSG batter, and she gobbled those bitches up. Once that class was over I chalked it up as one of the worst “I like to hear myself talk, so go ahead and get ready to punch yourself in the face” experiences…. until this semester in Intro to Hospitality, Yea, she’s in this class too. SCORE! What’s even better? Two other people exactly like her? HOW ABOUT FOUR????

“HEY I USED TO WORK IN A HOTEL! LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT IT! WE HAD A RESTAURANT!!!! SOMETIMES THE OWNER WOULD GET HIS OWN COFFEE OUT OF THE KITCHEN!!!!”

“I ONCE HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE AT A HOTEL! LET ME TAKE 10 MINUTES TO GO THROUGH EVERY DETAIL ABOUT IT!!!”
“I JUST TOOK A WICKED SHIT IN THE BATHROOM! DON’T GO IN THERE FOR AT LEAST 30 MINUTES!!!! HE HE HE!”

Ok so maybe no one said that… but if they did I wouldn’t be tempted to bang my head against the wall each time I see anyone of them raise their hand.

Guy Who Brings His Computer to Class, but Doesn’t Take Notes

First part applies to me in certain note heavy classes, Psychology for example. Sometimes I was guilty of playing Free Cell (not Warcraft) every now and then. But cut me a damn break, the class was 4 hours long and I had to watch pretty clouds blow by the whole time. It’s not like I fall into this stereotype of a student, one who wears 10 year old pajamas to class and a matching 10 year old t shirt. One who would rather spend 5 dollars on a case of Old Milwuakee (which he drinks while playing World of Warcraft until 4am every night) than pay for a haircut, or buy a razor to clean up his peach fuzz beard. This guy usually smells bad, or just looks like he smells bad because you’re too worried to get close enough to actually smell him.

“Student” Athlete

Good for carrying on a conversation about the NBA Playoffs. Not a good person to copy notes from. A dead giveaway is the fact that he is looking over your shoulder on your laptop to get the last sentence that was just uttered from your teacher’s mouth. 3 seconds ago.

The Old Lady

She’s old. Sometimes falls under the “Likes to hear themselves talk” category. Usually has arms that should not be equipped with a sleeveless shirt.

::Shudder::

Full-Time Business Guy/Part-Time Student

Usually works at some huge company like Countrywide or Frito-Lay. Comes to class straight from work, business causal slacks and all. My brother, Tim, is a FTBGPTS, but this is where the similarities stop. My brother watches sports, and has more to talk about that how big his bonus check is going to be next week. This guy usually wears his sunglasses on top of his head at all times, even if the sun set two hours ago. It’s just cooler that way. Is looking to expand his education in hopes of starting his own business (see: no degree, hates his current job but won’t admit it). Gains pleasure in talking about a customer he talked to on the phone earlier that day in which the conversation consisted of him bullshitting his way through 30 minutes, which are now wasted because there was no way this person was going to refinance their home through his company anyway (actually heard this conversation one day at work while Eli was taking a nap on the other side of the booth, I’m pretty sure the two guys had erections and were on the verge of making out with each other).

In short, these guys suck. Big time.

Spell/Grammar check be damned!