Camzor!
Lets just say the singles dance was all things awkward. People looking at Eli and I weird. Weird conversations. Creepy people talking to Camzor and Meagzor. We left after they gave away the Ipod and I didn’t win, being there a total of about 65 awkward minutes.
If you think baptists can’t dance, wait until you see mormons. HORRIBLE. Flailing arms, shuffling feet like they’re wearing 30 pound weights on their ankles… every individual bad dance move, rolled into one… which equals mucho entertainment.
I didn’t dance with any girls besides Cami because well… I’m not every mormons dream girl. I didn’t go on a mission, I haven’t read the book of mormon all the way through… not even once, I cuss a lot (I was afraid the whole time Friday I’d let a “shit” or “what the hell” slip the whole entire time), I don’t like spiritual music, I don’t like fellowshipping less active people (I don’t like when people do it to me, why do it to others?), and I don’t play the piano. Dancing with Cami would be more fun anyway, she doesn’t care that I spin her with an unnecessarily loud “YEA!” or “WOO!” to add emphasis, or that I know all the worlds to 90% of the songs they play at church dances (”Ooh Boy you looking like you like what you see
Won’t you come over check up on it”), plus we like picking out the guys who are thinking immoral thoughts while they’re dancing with a girl.
How to avoid dancing with one of the weird girls? Don’t make eye contact, WITH ANYONE! You can’t risk looking at a girl who you think is cool or is even a good girl, because some random weird girl may steal that look and think you were looking at them and have some sense of security that maybe one day you will be sealed for all eternity in the temple of the lord, and I just can’t have some weird girl with a lisp and dirty hair thinking that, it’s just not in the cards.
So we left early and we to Cafe Brazil, some random trendy/yuppie place which actually had really good chips and queso AND is open 24/7. Too bad I ruined my potatoes by putting haberno hot sauce on them and my mouth was on fire for about 10 hours… even when I woke up the next morning. Probably why I feel sick now.
Eli and I did volunteer our services for the next dance though. My cooking skills and our collective music picking skills could produce a damn good time…
Cause if I have to hear Sean Paul one more time I’ll probably punch someone in the throat.
12 responses so far ↓
minxlj // Apr 24, 2006 at 4:52 am
You just know you’d have to have the Foo Fighters and Incubus on that playlist, and show them your REAL dance moves
Liz // Apr 24, 2006 at 7:30 am
I look at those pictures on flickr and hoped that you would provide a post to explain the…revelry.
The Dude // Apr 24, 2006 at 10:04 am
It is obvious you dog each other - what’cha waiting for? Seriously…
GEORGE! // Apr 24, 2006 at 10:44 am
Dude, are you talking about me and Cami digging each other or dogging each other? I’m confused.
the soviet // Apr 24, 2006 at 7:06 pm
oh, wow! i spy a mormon gymnasium! singles dances are HUH-larious. i loved when they’d try to play a rap song and if they didn’t have an edited version, they’d just turn down the volume when it would drop an “F” bomb or other fun expletives that would make a mia maid’s ears bleed.
yet they’ll play “check on it” in its entirety. gotta love it.
sorry you didn’t win the iPod. at least they didn’t make you give the closing prayer, did they?
Daily Piglet // Apr 24, 2006 at 8:20 pm
Sounds like a torture camp to me. Or, Hell on earth.
Your friend is pretty tho. And, no I’m not gay.
I think you should’ve yelled out something very inappropriate, just for the fun of it, and you just got to make your mark on the world George.
the dude // Apr 25, 2006 at 5:57 am
Dog… dig… a little of both Bro!
C’mon!
You know you want it….
the jenn // Apr 25, 2006 at 11:16 pm
So my friends and I go to singles dances dressed like Hitler Youth and then goosestep to “who let the dogs out” (which, by the way, they ALWAYS play. Apparently the LDS church has a copyright on it). But anyway, if you were there, I would have humped you right off the bat, you hot man flesh, you.
Melessa // Apr 26, 2006 at 8:49 pm
I’m way too old to be reading your blog, not to mention I’m a Sooner fan. I just wanted to let you know I still fear cussing inadvertantly at church.(Although part of me can’t wait to see the looks on everyone’s face because I”m evil that way.) Oh, and I joined the church at 20 after leading a pretty wild adolescence. I’m sure the look on my face at my first church dance was pretty funny-I called my best friend and had her come pick me up about 30 minutes after I got there. After that, I showed up only if my stake somehow required my assistance. Otherwise, umm no thanks.
the soviet // Apr 27, 2006 at 6:12 pm
my dad said “shit” from the pulpit. at my farewell.
jill // Apr 29, 2006 at 10:03 pm
Weird question for you… Your friend Cami has darling hair and I am looking for a new hairdresser. Is she in the Dallas area, and if I told you how funny I find you and how I adore reading your blog, would you mind asking her who does her hair and then possibly letting me know?
I really think you’re funny and I adore reading your blog!!
Thank you in advance!!
NCTRNL // May 5, 2006 at 12:45 pm
I went to the Cafe Brazil in Dallas. It wigged me out. I don’t get the hype…
Leave a Comment