A conversation held the Saturday before last after going to eat at Texas Land and Cattle (who has the best smoked sirloin… IN THE WORLD!)

Me: I asked Tim if he wanted some Jambalaya while we were watching the game, but he said he didn’t want to have gas later.

Dad: Can you imagine having your drawstring pulled tight for the rest of your life like him? He must be miserable.

Me: Yea, when they’re over on Thanksgiving and we’re watching football I’m letting them rip.

Mom: GEORGE! Show some class. Chelsea and Tiffany deserve it!

Me: Yea, Tiffany has virgin ears. PFF. She lives with a 27 year old who still makes fart noises with his mouth.

Everyone: HAR HAR HAR!

If you’re wondering I did let one rip during the game, but all the ladies were out shopping at Garden Ridge. You’re secret’s safe with me Tim. You just gotta realize once Chelsea meets Aunt Lola or Uncle Lewis the cat will be out of the bag.

By cat I mean smelly gross fart, and by bag I mean ass.