Part one kindly hosted on my dearest cousin’s website here.

The other night I watched animal house, and I got to thinking… Even though there is a character named ‘Boon’, I was very similar to one of the other characters. Everybody has a Bluto in their group of friends, or knows a Bluto that goes/went to college with them. He’s that guy that isn’t always the most vocal of the group, but always the one who can make you laugh your Mormon Underwear off in a moments notice. He was the one who was seemingly always around when mischief was going down, and always a centrical part of it. Everybody knew this person’s name and probably had a story they could tell in which they had one of best times of their life with this guy, but that guy probably wouldn’t remember your name or where your from the next day, because this guy does something awesome every single freaking day of HIS LIFE. I’m pretty sure I was that guy freshman year. Everyone knew my name in my apartment complex, I had no idea what their name was, same goes for the dorms where my friend Trevon lived.

The dorms is where one of these special occasions happened one early spring evening. I’m going to start out with perhaps one of the most bizarre, yet fulfilling events that happened during winter semester.

Trevon, Cameron and I were bored of watching Office Space for the 546th that semester in Trevon’s room, so we brainstormed, “what could we do that would piss everyone off on the floor, but they wouldn’t automatically suspect it was us?” (Over time you will find out why they would think it was us) Trevon and I continued the discussing in the bathroom (public) while we filled up water balloons to throw at Mormon Sinners who were coming in past 12am after a night of dry humping with their girlfriends. It came to us, EVERYONE on this side of the floor, uses this bathroom (we were on the opposite side, someone let loose after a night of Beto’s Mexican fine dining in the other) why not screw this one up?

It was settled… wait… what are we gonna do? Trevon, being the Eagle scout that he is, had a nice set of tools in his room, why not take down the middle wall separating the two stalls, therefore taking away everyone’s privacy when they gotta go number 2. Hello game winner.

After spending about 15 minutes giggling like little school girls and moving said divider into the halls and writing “2nd FLOOR KICKS ASS” (Trev was on the 7th) on it with chalk, we went to bed satisfied with our childish prank.

Everyone in the morning was angry with all their hearts content. If you know any Mormons, you know privacy is a must, therefore we had taken away the one thing they held sacred in the bathroom. Everybody wanted to get the 2nd floor back because they were all late to class the next day.

Maybe they should have planned more time for their morning deuce.