“Fortune for a quarter, I LOOOOVE quarters!” - Mr. Wong’s fortune machine, located in a small, dirty burrito shop in Provo, Utah.

When did fortune cookies get to be so “life altering” and stopped actually giving fortunes? I just ordered Chinese food from “Cyber Takee Outee”, by the way, weird ass name, who REQUIRES that you order 16 dollars worth of food, so they prepared a whole chicken General Tso style and the biggest f’in fried shrimp I’ve seen in my life. When I got my fortune cookie, it had the lamest “fortune” ever…

“If you understand what you’re doing, you’re not learning anything”

I just opened another, and it’s even dumber…

“It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something.”

LAME

I should start making fortune cookies, but all of mine would be good.

“The cat’s meow lets you know when something is not right in your life”

“The Red Dragon signifies prosperity”

“The world will end in the year of the Rat, who really knows which one?”

“All that food you just ate ACTUALLY had MSG in it… Sucker”