I don’t know if you’ve heard the new R Kelly song “Sex in the Kitchen”, but it is the most ridiculous song ever. And by ridiculous I mean ridiculously AWESOME!
Seriously, just check out the lyrics…
Girl you’re in the kitchen
Cooking me a meal
Something makes me wanna come in there and get a feel
Walk around in your t-shirt
Nothing else on
Strutting pass, switching that ass while I’m on the phone
Cutting up tomatoes, fruits and vegetables and potatoes
Girl, you look so sexy while you’re doing the damn thang
I want
Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We’ll be making love like the restaurant was closed
How would you like it, baby
(How would you like that?)
Tell me right now pretty baby
Hey man, I’m gon call you back
Girl you’re in the kitchen, chillin in your robe
I’m thinking to myself she better go put on some clothes
Tickling and teasing
Doing that little dance
Girl, you gon make me lay you down and give it to you one mo ‘gain
Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We’ll be making love like the restaurant was closed
Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We’ll be making love like the restaurant was closed
GIRL I’M READY TO TOSS YOUR SALAD
While I’m making love,I’ll be feasting
Girl you’re in the kitchen
Sweating up a storm
The oven’s on 500
So you know the kitchen’s warm
Girl you know just how to get into a brother’s mind
Cause here we are still in this kitchen
Doing it for the third time
Sex in the kitchen over by the stove
Put you on the counter by the buttered rolls
Hands on the table, on your tippy toes
We’ll be making love like the restaurant was closed
Yes, he really does SCREAM toss your salad. At first listen you would think it was a joke, but no, this is a real song. I wonder if Dave Chappelle gave him a bunch of money to actually write this song. How can R Kelly write “I believe I can fly” and “Gotham City” then Pee on a 15 year old and write “Sex in the Kitchen”.
I thought I’d seen it all, I never realized how wrong I was, until now…
::cue suspenseful music::
19 responses so far ↓
Anonymous // Feb 25, 2005 at 11:56 am
wait a min. are you fucking serious?? that has to be a joke…uh..ick.
annette
Rachael // Feb 25, 2005 at 12:09 pm
George,
HI! What dream are you talking about on Yazi’s site? I’m nosy and want to know what this is about!
So anyway i thought that girl was 13? R Kelly is sick and I cant believe people are still buying his shit. It’s fucking GROSS. I saw it and I couldnt believe what i was watching.
Anyway, nice site. It’s fun.
Your exgf looks like a hottie.
~Rachael
Anonymous // Feb 25, 2005 at 12:32 pm
I know. The first time I heard it on the radio, I was like, “What? How do you have sex like the kitchen is closed?” What does that even mean?
HB
Aliesha // Feb 25, 2005 at 1:13 pm
He must have a thing for kitchens because the Ignition remix talks about the kitchen too.
Holy Schmidt // Feb 25, 2005 at 3:19 pm
GEORGE! That was hysterical. What a weirdo.
BTW you can come play games on the big TV if you take the Millione Dollar Dog home with you.
jensplace // Feb 25, 2005 at 3:28 pm
I’m remembering why I’m ‘boycotting’ his music. He’s a sick perv w/crap for lyrics. I’m ashamed that he’s from Chicago like me.
BerryGirl // Feb 25, 2005 at 3:32 pm
Yeah, that song creeped me out too the first time I heard it- they play it all the time on the radio!!
I guess we should not be shocked though- he is a freakin sicko.
Cassy // Feb 25, 2005 at 3:53 pm
Umm so R Kelly like to pee on kids AND lick buttholes? Wow, he’s even cooler than he was 5 minutes ago.
I don’t even know what to say. Wow. What great songwriting.
Amanda B. // Feb 25, 2005 at 4:04 pm
Wait. How do you toss the salad WHILE making the love? That sounds way to complicated. And painful.
R. Kelly is an assclown.
TLG // Feb 25, 2005 at 4:08 pm
Eww.
I dunno. Sometimes, I wanna cut my husband’s hands off when I’m in the kitchen cooking and not only is he NOT helping, but he’s trying to cop a feel and everything else. It’s like holy shit, man. Not only am I FEEDING you, but you also want sex right now too?? *grr, arg* It’s times like that that make you feel a little used, you know? Here’s a clue, guys… if you wanna be sexy, do house chores. Your wife/gf will think it’s hot. Especially if you willingly do one of HER chores.
That one chick // Feb 25, 2005 at 4:16 pm
I don’t think I’m going to finish my salad I was eating while reading that….that’s just gross..
MK // Feb 25, 2005 at 4:16 pm
That’s awesome.
may // Feb 25, 2005 at 4:57 pm
This song kicks-ass. Sounds like the kitchen’s open to me
dawnamarie // Feb 25, 2005 at 11:53 pm
I just wanted to thank you for bringing that song to my attention.. If it weren’t 1am, and my children weren’t asleep, I would have died laughing. Unfortunately it is 1am, and the children are sleeping, so I almost caused my head to explode by refraining. I will return to lurking happily now.
spoonleg // Feb 26, 2005 at 12:47 am
Hot ‘n Fresh out the kitchen!
Honey Bunny // Feb 26, 2005 at 8:51 am
GEORGE!
for all that is good and holy in this world, please tell me this is a joke! it just cannot be real.
seriously, i bet dave cappelle wrote this. word.
Honey Bunny // Feb 26, 2005 at 8:52 am
uh, that’s dave CHAPPELLE
Dave Chappelle // May 21, 2006 at 8:50 pm
Here is a clip of some classic Dave Chappelle footage featuring Dave as a potential juror on cases for Michael Jackson, R. Kelly and more: http://www.monkeybriefs.com/view.video.php?id=936&no=4742&page=1
Dave Chappelle // May 21, 2006 at 8:53 pm
And here is the R. Kelly spoof. This one is great.: http://www.monkeybriefs.com/view.video.php?id=482&no=9903&page=1
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